Sometimes we do not know we have made a comparison ,while we have done. Comparison is toxic to group A and group B . Group C never need comparison,they find their work is fascinating.
Months ago,a cute boy asked me,”Do you think it is a fault to compare yourself with those succesful ones? Mom always scold me for my doing bad on test compared to my cl.assmates Comparing yourself with others is silly!”
“Sure,family education,social status,esp.those goodness and rightness judged by your parents mostly determines your preference to value everything around.Since we were born,we are doomed to be in different levels from our background to some degree. It is fair to the world. It is the diversity of human beings.Your mum wants you to become better,but she makes a mistake that are being made by tons of thousands of mothers.It doesn’t make no sense.We should come as we are,living for our comforts,instead of do what can bring success to the successful.”
As moms. “You yelled to your kids as a way to tell them how you define comparison,hey.catch up,hurry up.How many kids of the same age are walking ahead of you! ”
Haven’t noticed its consequences yet? — kids probably act for an indirect purpose by comparison.They learn those who does better have learnt without any curiosity of finding an answer to their own questions ,or asking themselves what real important to them.Because they want to become successful as well.
I am sure that comparison is a silly mindset. As few people in the world will think then take effective actions for their own preference after their so-called comparison.
As far as I know, two groups of people aren’t able to become happy winner owing to immature comparison.
people of group 1 do not know where they want to be in life.
They feel irritated,upset,inconfident and lost in their dairy life.
Why Mr.A always has a good sale record.Why Ms.B is so attracted by men.Why Mr.C can pass any tests easily while hangs out every night in the club.
yeah,we all need our presence being felt .This is one of our basic needs.
But they put it in the wrong place.They make a very obvious and ridiculous mistake.They want to get what they are not passionate for ,while others got with passion. It is hard to imagine their situations neither now nor in future.No matter how hard they work ,how early they get up,they can’t find real values in themselves let alone bring happiness to the loved ones.
2 people of group 2 who know where they want to be in life ,due to their educational background or their responsibilities
for their positions in their company or family,they are trained to be too sure of their living patterns to change any more.
They are diligent bees who keep working all day long,what they want to have every tiny things done ,must be done perfectly.
They may feel super and successful by their credits in school or in workplace,but not enjoy every living moments.We can live once ,to them only criteria of living to the fullest is to hit a decent spot,where buries golds for the loved ones. Become whom being respected every now and then. Even though they have ever thought of change , they are so sure the forthcoming worse situation stands for their digging their own grave .
They deserve any compliments since they are forward and hardworking.
Many unhappy winners are almost both of the two groups of people.
The two groups are not classified by how they act ,instead it shows the purpose of their action.They don’t work for their passion.
Why who earn less seems happier than you? And you are happier than some of the haves.
To the haves who are not happy ,and to those who dream of becoming rich while complain any obstacles,WIN others is only their tools out of comparison,a kind of feeling pretty good,making life turns out to be easier.Even if they work so hard for family or for responsibilities,they are doing something for its indirect effects!
Comparing with people of group A who feel unsafe owing to
their not enjoying how others succeed but wanting the same results,people of Group B feel unhappy,because their persistance tells about how their define life-it is hard sometimes,take your responsibilities ,do what you should do to get where you want .
When I can understand chinese, I was told this phases onc and more, “Do what you should do ,it will get you to where
you want” before my pre-school or so,this 20 more years I am constantly doing what I should do,the results turn out to be perfect for this post, then I write them down sharing what I know to be an happy winner.
- 1,Where do you want to get in life (It is not the results of your work but how do you deal with everyday with great passion for your work,calm down,you are your unique self.)
- 2,Does what you should do has something to do with who you want to be.
- 3.If it does,you are group 3. If it doesn’t work out,why?? Ask yourself why it didn’t bring you with your estimate value.You are group A or group B.Would you dare to change ?Would you?
- 4.REMEMBER. Happy winner regards their life as consecutive repetitions of failures and success .Winners are so passionate in their games.They get excited by how to roll big snowball but not struggle for a snowball as a back-up plan.
- 5.Now,To get what you want,you need Food to eat,warm room to sleep in,healthy.This is the foundation.What’s more??Do not ask me what’s more.I am so surely believe that in this world no one doesn’t know how to get what they want.Remember,if you use,SHOULD,NEED,HAVE TO before the things you want,you may seem very weird.Such as I should eat otherwise I would die of hunger.
Now I may get you clear the unnecessary of comparison.Do you know where you really want to get ? And are you happy on the way now?
Time for quote from Steve job ,commencement speech at Stanford.(Group 3)
“So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out okay.It was pretty scary at the time,but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made.The minutes I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn’t interest me ,and begin dropping in on the ones the looked far more interesting.”
“Again,you can’t connect the dots looking forward,you can only connect them looking backwards.So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something-your gut,destiny.life.karma,whatever-because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart,even when it leads you off the well-worn path,and that will make all the difference.”
Steve job is an awesome winner. And you are intelligent,see the difference.
Practise makes perfect.
Though I am reallly unwilling to write in English before,I was afraid of mistakes .
Now I know it’s one good step to be perfect .For good or for whatever.I am passionate!
Start whatever even if you are afraid of failure,live for your passion.We can make all the differences.
What is your opinion towards my topic? Any feedback is welcome!